Flower Woes

I bought a gardenia a few weeks ago. They are one of my favorite flowers, the scent of them takes me back summers as a kid and the bush that grew by my grandmothers front porch. I saw a display of them at a grocery store just before Easter and were such cute little things. I looked through them and found the one that had the most buds, 14, and bought it. I carefully avoided the ones that were already blooming, promising myself that if I had patience then I’d have a longer time to enjoy my new flower once I got it home.

Excited for how amazing my room was going to smell I placed my little friend in the window and I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

I’ve yet to see a bloom

Turns out that despite my grandmothers casual care of her bush, just sticking it in the ground and letting it go, gardenias are finicky beasts and many hobby gardeners spend YEARS trying to get on to bloom. Or even to just survive. Then they get therapy and and medication to deal with the stress.

This makes me want to cry a little. I gave her a new pot, fresh dirt, fertilizer, water, and sun. But not too much water or sun. Nonetheless I have an adorable little bush with yellowing leaves that drop off at an alarming rate and the occasional bud that tempts me by looking like it will open before laughing at me and falling off instead. Plus, she learned a new trick this week and has allowed a colony of mites to take up residence! Spiteful thing.


Goals are important to me. I set goals every 6 months and I’ve been doing this since I was about 16. The number varies, it’s been as low as 6 or as high as 25. I never make them all. In fact, there have been times I’ve made none. Fail.


However, even those times where I gave up or didn’t care or whatever happened I still had something to measure myself by, a list to show my laziness or lack of effort. Or, other times to show me how much I did succeed, even if it didn’t feel that way. I’ve made long-term goals a few times but I have found them less useful. Trying to pin down what I want to have happen in 10 years is difficult when I don’t even know what I want for supper. 


Jon Acuff, over at Stuff Christian’s Like, did a post last Dec about his 40 by 40 list, 40 things he wants to do before he turns 40 (this was inspired by his turning 35). That was only a few weeks before my 27th birthday and it inspired me to make a similar list- 30×30.

  1. Visit all 50 states (remaining- CA, OR, NV, ND, MT, AR, DE, RI)
  2. Be married
  3. Write 3 more novels
  4. Publish a book, sell 500+ copies
  5. Write 3 movie scripts
  6. Take belly-dance or strip class
  7. Take ballroom or Latin dance class
  8. Take martial arts or fencing class
  9. Buy a handgun, learn to shoot
  10. Spend a week in D.C.
  11. Do 100 push-ups, 200 crunches, 5 pull-ups 
  12. Run a 7 minute mile
  13. Spend 2 weeks in Europe
  14. Be out of debt, have investments started
  15. Start a blog   04/16/11
  16. Take/audit a class on a new topic
  17. Join Toastmasters
  18. Try acting
  19. Sew a jean skirt by myself
  20. Take a cooking class
  21. Read my Bible in a month
  22. Memorize a chunk of Scripture
  23. Have and be a mentor
  24. Quilt a full-size quilt by hand
  25. Learn another language conversationally
  26. Have my teeth fixed
  27. Get a massage
  28. Get a tattoo
  29. Be a regular, sizable supporter for a missionary
  30. Be self/alternatively employed

A month later I was packing to move to MN and found a “dreams list” of 100 things I wanted to do during my life that I had written for a class assignment at BCOM and then promptly forgotten existed. The items above that are in bold are things that were on that list. I think that if they stuck with me for 3 years without me realizing it then they are the ones I should really focus my efforts toward. I’m going to make a new page on here to keep a running tally and update this list as I accomplish my goals, and now y’all will know if I make it or not. Let’s use this peer-pressure for good!

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