Recap: Week 26

One Million Words Challenge

Week 26

Remember last week and how awesome it was? This week was the opposite. I only wrote five days out of seven, and I slacked all the other days except one. I went further into the hole. Only by 6,000ish words but since I’m trying to get out of the hole that’s still terrible.

I’m not sure what happened. I just didn’t do it. I wasn’t busy. I’m not working. I had a little bit of stuff to do around the house and some errands to run but no more than last week. I went to AL one day, which does throw off my writing time, but I still could have done something that day.

Something in me decided to not write. Part of it was I realized one night that by the time I’d done that days writing I’d be done with Black Dog. I’m that close. I put it down and haven’t picked it back up. The idea of finishing it is terrifying. I can’t explain it, with my last book I rushed through the very end because I was so happy to be done with it. This time, the idea of finishing makes me feel a little ill. I don’t want to be done because then I have to face what I wrote. That’s frightening.

Also, every time I finish a project I worry that I won’t be able to start another one. That all my ideas are used up and I won’t be able to write anything else. I have an large notebook that I glue ideas into, all the things I jot down on scraps of paper. Tons of ideas, waiting to be written, In fact, I have several in my current writing notebook as well. Doesn’t do one thing to relieve the pressure. Even with that I still have this choking sort of fear that says all my good ideas are gone and that’s it, I’ve used them up.

Plus this book is different. I write funny stuff. Always have. This book isn’t funny. That makes it extremely scary to me. I don’t know if it is at all something people would ever read. I’m considering going back through it and trying to add some funny in places because the idea of a serious book is so overwhelming. So there’s that.

I know the answer. The answer is to keep writing anyway. And to do that I have to finish the book I’m working on. So I will. That’s my baby step for the day- I will finish this blog post and then I will get out my notebook and I will write the end of Black Dog.

Here are my totals for the week–

  • Journal 338
  • MPs 4,860
  • Blog 521
  • Black Dog 7,104
  • LFF 729
  • Total 13,552
  • YTD 377,911
  • Where I should be 498,680

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